Demons
by StylishFashionista
Summary: It's when you want to let someone in, to be able to love them, but you can't. You're afraid that once they know, they'll run away. / Tragic Phinabella songfic to Demons by Imagine Dragons. Third genre-Angst


_It's when you want to let someone in, to be able to love them, but you can't. You're afraid that once they know, they'll run away._

* * *

Isabella's POV

I never thought I could love someone so much.

His name's Phineas. I've had a crush on him since I moved to Danville when I was 7. I moved into the house across the street from him. I was very shy at the time, and I was in my room. When I decided to look out of my window to see a gigantic frozen yogurt machine in the backyard across the street, my curious self got the best of me, and I knew that I had to check that out. So I did, and then I saw him. A redhead with a triangle head that introduced himself as Phineas. I had a major crush on him ever since.

I remember when he finally learned that I had a massive crush on him. It was freshman year. Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Buford, Django, Irving, Addison, Gretchen, Milly, Holly, Katie and I were sitting together after school at a café (Café Bistro, to be exact** (AN: I literally just realized that Café Bistro is a café place in a bunch of Nordstrom's. So, sorry Nordstrom.)**). We went there every single day after school, and by graduation, the waitresses were crying their eyes out, wishing us the best. Anyways, we decided to play Truth or Dare, and as my dare (I was feeling fearless that day), I had to kiss whoever my crush was. So I did. And everyone was shocked that I did. I also told him that I loved him. But, we stayed best friends. We just wanted to forget what happened.

Skip a couple years. We were juniors, both of us enduring stress, heartbreak, and the fact that Prom was just around the corner. We decided to go as friends. But then Phineas decided to serenade me during Prom. He asked me out, and do you even have to ask how I responded? Okay, I'll tell you. With a big resounding YES!

We actually stayed together, and we're still together now. We're both in our first year of college. However, I go to Georgetown, while he's rocking it at MIT. We both agreed on long-distance, because we didn't want to let each other go.

And today's the special day. We're both visiting Danville for the weekend. We're meeting each other at Café Bistro. I can't even describe how excited I am. I'm probably the most excited girl on this planet right now. I'm just so excited to see him!

The only problem with Phineas is that he's become really distant lately. For the past month or so, during our weekly video chats, he wouldn't really talk as much as he did before. And whenever he did speak, the passion in his eyes was gone. It was as if his feelings were sucked out of him. But he was just probably stressed out. Or something like that. College had a major increase of the workload we had to handle. Well, at least that's what I thought. Being a student at Georgetown is hard work. I would expect MIT to have much more work than I do.

I type up the last sentence of my essay regarding the use of cellphones in schools (I major in Editorial Journalism and Opinionated Writing** (AN: Probably not a real major in Georgetown, but I would expect Isabella to have a major like that.)**)and print it out, placing it in my portfolio afterwards. We keep all our writings in a portfolio so then we can actually use them when we apply for a job. I would love to be the chief editor of a newspaper or a magazine one day. Editorials are so fun to write!

I check my watch and realize that it's almost time to head to Café Bistro. I throw on a beige jacket over my shimmery silver shirt. I then change from my pink sweats to dark blue jeggings. Then, I apply ruby red lipstick and slip on matching flats.

I run downstairs and head towards the front door. I then yell to my mom, "Mom! I'm going out!"

My mom chuckles. "Isa, you know that you don't have to tell me that you're going out. You're a grown woman. I trust you."

I smile. This is probably the millionth time my mom has told me this. "I know, Mom. Sorry. Force of habit."

My mom seems to shrug it off, as she always does, so I decide to head out. Café Bistro is only a 20-minute walk from my house, which I love. I prefer to walk to the place I'm going rather than drive, take the bus, or use the subway (which is not in Danville, but all over Washington DC). I remember during my junior year how excited I was to finally get my driver's license. But, while I was at Georgetown, I didn't really have to drive anywhere, because everything was on campus. So, I started to appreciate walking to places, and I ended up liking it more than driving. It's just the feeling of fresh air, I guess. I don't know. I just like it more.

I finally arrive to Café Bistro. I have the biggest smile on my face. I probably look like a weirdo or a creep, not to mention that my face muscles are hurting by the minute, but I don't really care.

I sit down at a small round table. It still smells like coffee beans here. Plus the wooden furniture and the quiet atmosphere. This place hasn't changed one bit, and now I'm starting to remember why we all hung out here in the first place. It's just the fact that the place is so cozy, as if it was your home. And since not a lot of people knew about the café, we were usually the only ones here (besides the waitresses and chefs, of course!). We liked that, and I guess that's why we always hung out here.

Oddly enough, though, this place is much more crowded than it was before (but it was still pretty quiet). The café is stuffed with people, and every single table was taken. I can't help but wonder what happened in the last few months.

"Oh my gosh! Isabella! How are you? How's Georgetown?"

I look up to see Lilly, though we would all call her Water Lilly. She's one of the waitresses that we all knew so well. There were three waitresses that we knew well during high school: Water Lilly, Trixie Pixie (Patricia), and Coraline (Coral). They knew every one of us closely, and to us, they were our older sisters.

"I'm good, and Georgetown's fine," I respond, a smile seeping through. "I'm just so excited!"

"Must I ask why?" Water Lilly asks teasingly, throwing a smirk at me.

I sigh. "I'm going to meet Phineas here."

She smiles. "Ooh, yay!" she cheers. "How are you two?"

"We're good," I smile back. "We have weekly video chats. He's becoming distant lately." I look straight at her. "Do you know why?"

Water Lilly stays silent for a while. "I don't know," she finally answers. "Maybe it's just because of the workload. He knew that he would be up to a lot of work when he signed up for MIT. Though, he does love you. I saw the way he looked at you. It was a loving gaze."

I break into a smile. "Thanks Water Lilly."

She smiles back. "You're welcome, Izzy. Now, what would you like?"

"I don't know," I admit. "I really want the Minty Flair latte, which is what I usually get, but at the same time, I really want to try the Snowflake Shake."

Water Lilly nods in understanding. Then, she asks, "Why don't you get both?"

"I only brought money for one," I answer sheepishly.

Water Lilly stays silent for a while, before saying, "You can have both. Your drinks are on the house today."

"Are you sure?" I ask, starting to rummage through my purse. "Let me find some loose change. I can pay."

Water Lilly stops me in my tracks, holding my wrist firmly. "No, seriously. My treat. You haven't been in town in a while, so just call it a 'welcome back gift'. Besides, I don't think my boss will even realize with all of the booming business lately."

I laugh a little, succumbing to Water Lilly. "If you're so sure."

"Yay!" she cheers, before muttering, "I miss this place being empty. Stupid ad in the newspaper." It was quiet, probably not intended for me to hear, but I do anyways. She then looks back to me. "I'll see you later, Izzy."

I wave, and she leaves. Now that I think of it, I miss the emptiness of this place, too. Having this place to just me and my friends was the benefit of this place. That' and the good food and drinks.

I glance at my watch. _10:59_. Phineas should be here in a minute.

I watch as Water Lilly comes and gives me both of my drinks. "Enjoy, Izzy."

I smile and nod as she leaves. I decide to start out with the Snowflake Shake. I sip it, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was really good! I end up chugging it down in what felt like seconds, but it only turned out to be 6 minutes. _11:05_, my watch said. And yet, Phineas isn't here. Maybe he's in traffic. I know he'll get here soon. I grasp the mug that held the Minty Flair and tried my best to savor the drink. The meeting may be a long time. Faintly, I can hear a song that I fell in love with. Demons, by Imagine Dragons.

* * *

_When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold_

_And the saints we see_

_Are all made of gold_

* * *

I sip on my drink, hoping that Phineas will arrive soon. The clock was ticking. _11:06._

However, something caught my eyes. A redhead. But, sadly, it wasn't Phineas. It was Trixie Pixie off her break.

* * *

_And the dreams all hail_

_And the ones we fail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood runs stale_

* * *

"Is this seat taken?"

I look up to see another redhead. Not Trixie Pixie this time, but the love of my life.

"Phineas!" I exclaim, hugging him practically to death. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Honey Bear," he says, holding me even tighter than I am, if that was even possible.

* * *

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

* * *

I motion for Phineas to sit down, which he does.

"What's up?" I ask. "How's MIT?"

"It's good," he answers simply. No rant. No sparkle in his eyes.

* * *

_No matter what we breed_

_We are still made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

* * *

"Are you building anything new?" I ask, hoping to instigate a fiery conversation.

He sighs and shakes his head. "Nothing new really. College is such a hassle. Wouldn't you agree, Iz?" He fakes a smile. I could tell because his smile wouldn't meet his eyes.

I also fake a smile. "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

_When you feel the heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

"I really love my major. Writing has always been my passion, and being able to insert my opinions into writings is just so amazing," I say desperately, hoping to get an actual response.

But all I receive is a nod.

* * *

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

"I'm really into my essay," I add. "It's about cellphones and how they should be use in schools. I think that they could be used to listen to music, because studies show that many students work faster and harder while listening to their favorite music." To explain, each week, my class gets a different topic to write about in an essay. Yes, it is tedious work, but I love it too much to care. I always told Phineas my thoughts about the newest topic I have to write on.

I look at him, and he looks completely dozed off.

* * *

_The curtain call_

_Is the last off all_

_When the lights fade out_

_All the sinners crawl_

* * *

I try looking into Phineas' blue orbs, but instead off looking back at me, he was looking right past me.

I wave my hand over his face. It didn't snap him out. So, I got up and snapped my fingers in his ears.

He jumps out of his seat. "Hey!" he exclaims.

I sigh and sit back down into my seat, daring to ask the question that has been bugging me for quite some time now. "Why aren't you paying attention to me?"

* * *

_Only dug your grave_

_And the masquerade_

_Will come crawling out_

_At the mess you've made_

* * *

"What do you mean?" Phineas asks, though he doesn't seem confused at all. He looked as if he understood why I was asking.

"You've been distant lately," I explain. "You've been blanking out on our conversations and you don't have any feelings anymore. There's even no sparkles in your eyes! What's going on?!"

* * *

_Don't want to let you down_

_But I am hellbound_

_Know this is all for you_

_Don't want to hide the truth_

* * *

He sighs. "You want the truth?"

I look him in the eye. "I want the truth."

* * *

_No matter what we breed_

_We are still made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

* * *

He returns my stare. "Okay. For the last month or so, I've been feeling very tired. I didn't feel hunger either. No matter how many times I've tried to eat, I couldn't eat much, because I already felt full. I ended up losing 20 pounds." He chuckles a little, and I take a good look at him. He did look a bit thinner. "I thought something was wrong with me, but I didn't know what."

* * *

_When you feel the heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

He pauses, and I motion for him to continue, which he does. "But when I started to bruise much more easily when I used to, and when my body started to ache whenever I moved for no reason that I knew of, I knew I had to see a doctor. So I did."

* * *

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for bad news. "What does this mean, Phineas?"

He looks me dead in the eye. "Isabella, I have leukemia."

* * *

_They say it's what you make_

_I say it's up to fate_

_It's woven in your soul_

_I need to let you go_

* * *

I finally pieced everything together. It finally started to make sense. The unawareness, the drained passion... The discovery of having cancer shook him. It's now occupying his thoughts. That's all he can think about. I finally understand.

But all I could choke out is, "You have cancer?"

Internally, I slapped myself for my stupidity. 'Are you senseless?' I scolded myself.

But to my surprise, Phineas answers politely. "Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, yes."

* * *

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_

_I want to save that light_

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how_

* * *

"We can do this!" I exclaim with determination. "I can catch a train, come and visit during the weekends... They have direct trains from DC to Boston. Phineas, trust me, we can do this!"

Phineas sighs in defeat, the first time I ever saw him do so. "No, we can't, Izzy."

* * *

_When you feel the heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

"Why not?" I ask, not losing any of my hope. "I love you, and I know that you love me. You'll get cured, and then we'll graduate, go to the same graduate school, get married, have jobs, and have a huge family. This is the future we talked about, Phineas. You were so adamant about living it."

"Isabella, did you hear me correctly? I HAVE CANCER!" he shrieks, earning attention from strangers in the café. He takes a few deep breaths, and then continues. "No matter how much I believe I can get cured, I probably can't! Izzy, I'm going to chemo next week. I'm losing my hair, my time, my happiness. I can't have you heartbroken if I die."

"But Phineas-"

"And besides, even if I get cured now, cancer can still reappear whenever it wants. Face it, Izzy, I'll probably get cancer again. I can't hold you back, Isabella. You deserve a healthy man, a man that can give you whatever you want, a man that won't have you worrying your pretty little head."

"Phineas-"

"You're going to have an amazing life, Isabella. I can't hold you back. You're going to write for a famous magazine, get married to a great man, and have the biggest family you could dream of. I'm sorry, Iz. We have to break up."

And that's when my heart shattered into many little pieces. "But Phineas-"

"Sorry, Isabella. Goodbye."

* * *

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

* * *

I watch him push the door to leave, and all I could do afterwards was stare at the door, sip my drink, and ponder about what could've been.

* * *

**Okay, um, first I'm sorry for the sad ending. However, with this song, I kind of fell in love with it when I first heard it. It just had so much meaning into it and everyone can relate to it (especially me). I had to write a songfic about it. So, this came into mind. So, sorry about that.**

**I'm sorry for not publishing Fireside VS Firework yet! Trust me, it'll be up soon. I'm planning on posting it on New Year's Eve, my two year anniversary of this account and the uploading of the first chapter of It's School Already. Tell me what you guys think about that.**

**Oh, yes, Merry Christmas! I don't care if it's early by 10 days, I flipping love Christmas! I'm totally in the Christmas spirit right now, little happy me.**

**This is dedicated to my uncle, who died from lymphoma last year, and to anyone who's battled cancer or knows someone who has. I'm sorry for any inaccuracies, or if I did offend anyone. I did do research though, but I'm sorry either way.**

**This is actually my first time writing out the entire thing on paper before typing it up. I wrote this entire thing whenever I felt bored at school, and it totally paid off! I love doing it like that, and I'm definitely going to do it more often.**

**Also, since I didn't have a disclaimer in the beginning, I'll just do it here.**

**I don't own these things: Phineas and Ferb, Minty Flair, Snowflake Shake, Café Bistro, Georgetown, Editorial Journalism and Opinionated Writing, Demons by Imagine Dragons.**

**Okay, I will catch you guys later!**


End file.
